How does a meta-career differ from just doing what interests me? For me, there are just too many things that interest me at once and I am not capable to sacrifice one thing for another. I am greedy. The only way out is to go beyond the concept of having to choose one over the other. Actually it might be quite simple as to how to realize this meta-career. Maybe it's not some strange career, but the difference is in the mind-set. Of course it is only me who has changed the attitude, because I'm the one who is recently enlightened from some super navie stage of mind.

Sometimes it takes me some laborious effort to understand some extremely simple idea that has been proven true or accepted for thousands of years. It seems like that I am so skeptical that I have to understand everything by my own reasoning...

Last night I read some journal I wrote 15 years ago when I was still in Beijing. I have forgotten how much I used to think and question back then. But it's also quite amazing that I have never read anything on subjects like philosophy. Maybe because of my lack of formal training in this field that I have always regarded myself as an inadequate thinker. A friend asked me on Monday week that what I liked to do when I was 15 that I still enjoyed to do now, trying to help me think about my career choice. I couldn't think of any other "long term" interests other than music and reading and writing. I forgot that I had always enjoyed thinking. Maybe I'm a natural thinker, and maybe, I hope, that I am smarter than I know.

So, that's some thoughts on the meta-career subject.

-- email excerpt to JF.

Yesterday I had an epiphany (enlightenment, revelation...) and it was so exciting and exhausting. I think I have found my destiny and what my real passion is and who I should be in this world. I try not think about it too much, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I hope it's not just some crazy idea I get from time to time. Now all I want to do is to finish my degree as soon as possible and then move on... When I can be sure of what I have realized, I will share with you.

-- email excerpt to Frank

conversation with master:

>> Don't worry. Now that I know it's there, *I* can
>> make it appear/come back without much fuss. ;)

> But you don't know what it is yet!

Nor do you. ;) But there is not much choice about the *overall* nature of the experience.. which basically demonstrates your potential ability to see the world with the eyes of what I called a "generalist". I would define it as the ability to grasp and comprehend and "see" things, which are usually not seen as interrelating or interfacing. (A very powerful tool.)
So I *know* I "can make it appear/come back without much fuss". Trust me I can. Once you want me to, of course. :) (Graduate first. ;)

> I don't know what it is yet either,

Precisely my point. ;)

> but there are a few things that I can grasp. One is about my career. Everyone knows that I have great trouble finding something satisfying to do career-wise. With all my talents and "potential", doing any of the many things that I am capable of seems to be a waste my other talents. There can only be one solution to this problem. How about a
meta-career for me?

Quod erat demonstrandur. *That* (a "meta-career"), is *exactly* what a "generalist" does/has/is.

conversation with master:

> I have great potential, and today I felt it. [ Not
> now though... :( ]

Well, some Japanese Buddhist monk (Or was it a Chinese Taoist?) said "Before satori, chop wood, carry water. After satori, carry water, chop wood." Or something like that.

> If I keep choosing to talk to weird people, I will
> become truly weird.

Hmm, if you are *real lucky*, maybe you can become as weird as me! ;) But of course that's quite ambitious a goal. ;)

conversation with master:

> I am sending this to a few friends.... It's somehow
> related to what we were talking about in the last
> few days... Maybe you can see what is going on
> with me?

Hehe.. when I got this I looked if I could find my notes on religion design. :) I found like 30-40 related pages, but not the main body of the thing.

I have a new revelation today. It's an enlightenment. I rushed to the computer to write it down. But I can't trust my fingers to keep up with my mind. It's so thrilling. It's like I'm in a room, and suddenly a light is turned on. This light is in a different wavelength, so that all the things in the room that are previously invisible suddenly come to sight. Everything looks different now, and a lot of the things that seems so formidable suddenly become trivial, and become just the background.

Hmm.. maybe you ate some falun powder? ;)
J/k. ;)

This being said, it just sound like a description of "enlightenment" or "satori" in Japanese, and something like "seeing the Buddha" or "becoming one with the Tao" in old Chinese.

> But what it is, I can't formulate yet. It's all
> new. I think I'd better
> wait a few days to make sure that I'm not just
> hallucinating. :)
>
> This is exciting.

At any rate, and as I told you before, you are quite unique. :) But be careful, I did stuff like that too, and then, some people (hmm... I wonder who?) think I'm a bit weird.
;)

I took out my cartoon philosophy books last night and tried to find the original text for the theory about being wise and being in doubt. Instead, I realized how much I had changed in my philosophy of life. I used to be a Taoist! Ever since high school,
it was the philosophy that guide me through life. But I think this philosophy is supposed to be good for older people. Anyway, it didn't make me happy. Last year I abandoned it. Maybe I will pick it up when I am older and wiser.... I'd like to talk about this kind of things with you more, if you are interested.

-- email to Josh