so strange that liberation means being unseparate; seems like it would mean quite the opposite, y'know? (true also in yoga samkyha, ultimate liberation is called 'kaivalya' which literally means 'aloneness' (!!) but this usually comes out something like 'not in the presence of many')

dunno what i was saying about liberation and unseparated.... maybe this: when we are separated and have an identity of our own, then we struggle to identify ourselves and to separate ourselves from the rest of the world, but in reality we are all just one. therefore in the struggle to break free we are bound to failure, and anything that's bound is not free. probably that's why many religions teach people to surrender, to yield, to submit, to give in. but i think, only after a difficult struggle to break free can we realize the value of being one with nature/all/god/etc, and when we are just One (thus not in the presence of many and nothing to be separated), we are truly alone and liberated.

ah, but never listen to me. i am good at playing with words and concepts. just playing. my only trick, but a good one. :)

the western metaphysicians refer to a set of properties known as the 'cambridge properties', things like time, location, et cetera, that are supposed to be sort unimportant in the sense that changes in these properties don't necessarily effect changes in the identify of the things in which the properties inhere. so why is it then that ann-arbor reality doesn't seem the same as travel reality or colorado reality or ... to us? i don't know, but i know that if you sit anyplace long enough you get in a rut, and moving around is good for shaking that up. sure, if we were absolutely enlightened i doubt our location would matter much, but we're still embodied and also into our embodiments, and so don't resist too much the facts of this embodiment, including the urge to travel and try new things and also to be home and be settled in old ways. equanimity in all conditions is something we can strive for and still have the impulse for change, no?

i like the concept of "cambridge properties". i can surly use it to enhance my trick. you are right. i am not so enlightened and liberated, so i am still bound to "cambridge properties". but at least i am no longer depressed by unpleasant circumstances. i used to get depressed all the time and i felt i had no choice and life was heavy. now i just think, all shall pass... and none of these is important. none of these is me (although all is an aspect of me--note, not "all is a part of me", but an aspect, a manifestation, a projection, an eigenvalue...). so your advice is good, to not resist any embodiment. not resist is to surrender, but this word sounds too passive. the words i like are "observe" (when less pleasant), "immerse" (when pleasant), or rather "play" (as in a play, either tragedy or comedy).

-- email excerpt to JF.

Ann Arbor my "home" seems like a different world altogether for me, a different world from the rest of the world. When I am away, I am in a world of unknowns and excitements and dreams and imaginations and stories and possibilities, and I truly go with the flow and feel alive in the moment. Now that I am back, I am back to a world of reality--hard core reality that includes phone calls, emails, bills, housework, laundry, news, work, schedules, meetings, plans, responsibilities, .... this reality forces one to deal with the past and the future, while the moment of present is often lost. I remember once when I was "home", I looked at my meager but precious possessions and said to myself that with what I had owned, I could be perfectly happy if I were never to leave home to travel again. I was wrong. But then maybe Ann Arbor reality is not all that bad if I can learn to stop looking so eagerly back and ahead and around and contemplate. The flow of life never ceases to create unknown excitements and dreamy images and stories, possible and impossible. All I have to do is to be still and flow in time.

About enlightenment, be open (read and think widely), be truthful (to yourself), and enjoy the journey. For me, what I have learned is that I need to find a way to live in harmony with true reality, whatever reality means to me. I have always been a hopeless idealist, but surprisingly my extreme idealism ultimately brings me back to reality and I am loving the implication of this finding. I have gained wisdom. Wisdom is probably just a way to understand and deal with reality (Reality), the reality which includes one's true self. However, reality might be different for different people and/or at different times. For some it is the physical world, and for others it is the spiritual world, or even the nameless universal empty mind (Mind). Only when we are in harmony with our own reality (or one can say, we are no longer separated from Nature, and there are many ways of saying this same thing), we are liberated and happy. Anyway, just something I thought about while driving back yesterday, and something I thought about while writing the thoughts down....