When we are younger, we like to make different sounds. We say things that make us stand out. We rebel. We are in the opposition. We make radical statements about the world. We want to be different. We are like new born chicks. We need to yell the loudest, or chirp with different songs in order to hear ourselves, to hear ourselves above the crowd and the noise to confirm our own existence. As we grow older, we become quieter, because we learn to listen to our inner voice. We learn to hear inwardly to know our existence. We become content to be our own listener, our own audience. We know the rhythm of life. We know the pattern of the waves. We become knowing.

Youth is necessary. Sounding different and dissonant is necessary. Without hearing our own among the crowd, how shall we know our own capacity of being alive? But when we are older, if we keep voicing a loud dissonant, it can be a sign of inner uncertainty and emptiness. Everyone is allowed to be different and unique. One special quality of a mature person is the sense of humor. Yes, love too, but everyone should have love. When we grow older, we can convert our unique ideas into humor. The Truth cannot be invented, but can be re-stated in different ways. For a mature person, to be creative is to be humorous. Another creative channel is praise for life. Youth should not be humorous. Humor is a privilege of the experienced.

The direction of life is to become calm, to find the global minimum of existence, because anything excited is bound to return to the ground state, which is the state of nature. Calm as the lake…

Any theory not based on love is incomplete.

I have signed up for an online "remainder service", and they send e-mail remainders to tell people to do some simple things and not ask questions. I have found out that the ultimate goal is not go get those things done (wash dishes, put away laundry, make bed, empty trash, etc.), but in doing simple things I will actually feel better and then I get more things done and I feel even better. So it is only just recently that I realize that an essential part of being happy is to do things, is in the action, or simply put, in active living. I like to think so much and sometimes I put a disproportional high value to mental abilities. For many years I only thought about things I could do and I should do but I never got out of bed or the door to do anything because I was too much afraid of failure. Now I think, if thinking makes me happy then I will keep thinking, but if it depresses me, then I should stop thinking and do something else. Sometimes it is the very simple things that change the color of my mood.

I also come to understand that there is nothing wrong to be down. Now we talk about my wave theory again. Things always go up and down, like the waves. There's nothing in life that only goes up and stays up, because that would just be boring. The trick is to recognize this, and when down, try to hold on while wait, so we don't fall off (don't kill yourself), and in time things will go up again and we can enjoy the ride. For me, now in my down time, I will try to change my focus and jump onto another wave that is not too low, and then ride that for a while. So lately I have not been too down for too long, although sometimes I do need to take breaks and just lie low. Sometimes jumping to another wave (change focus, start a new project) requires a lot of energy, so I am learning to do those simple things, take baby steps of very simple things, and then I find simple joy in simple living. I know I am repeating a lot of old wisdom and teachings about happiness. Sometimes we just need to turn off our brain and turn on our ears and listen quietly. After all we are all just small people living on a small planet over a tiny period of time in an infinite universe, and there are so much yet to be lived.

One other thing I want to say is, I find it far more rewarding to be wise than to be smart and capable.

Sorry if I sound like I am preaching so much. It's really just a small summary of my recent thoughts on the search of happiness that I want to share with you. More and more I understand the importance of action.

The Meaning of Life (reply following 平仄平's post at mayacafe.com)

As I am being tormented over the question on the meaning of life, I heard a program on NPR introducing the newly invented piccolo-violin. The violin is made in a quarter size and sounds an octave higher than the conventional violin. As if the frequency of violin is not high enough to make us violinists a neurotic lot, some bored physicist has to invent this little piercing thing to further poke our nerves. The principal second violinist of Oregon Symphony did a demonstration on it with Paganini’s Witch’s Dance. Perfect, the witch, the physicist, Paganini, and the piccolo-violin, I see Mephistopheles laughing in the shadow. When the violinist hit the last note on the radio, ouch! I almost drove off the road. Now the meaning and the folly of life are blurred before me.

Reply:
Maybe the meaning of life is to explore the world as much as one likes, and the meaning of life for the rest of us is to smile at what other people find amusing or are passionate about in life.