In the airport (DTW) again. Why is it that I want to write and read so much when I'm traveling? Perhaps the change of the environment can either add or remove distraction. Single-minded concentration that is impossible for me in normal life suddenly becomes possible and practical and attractive. Perhaps this is one reason I so much like to travel.

When I walked pass the gadget store, I was thinking, what is this desire to buy things? Or, why do we want to own things? If we can pay a little money to rent/lease/use something, why does it always feel better to buy and own it, unless one has a greater desire to own money which is equivalent to owning the prospect of having things in the future? Does this desire to own things (and people) have anything to do with love, the definition of "wanting to be one with"? Do we feel a sense of expansion, enlargement, encompassment when own things? If so, this is consistent with the theory that the meaning of life lies in the desire to expand the self, and eventually be one with the Whole. However, the possession of things and people is only temporary. Only the eternal possession makes one happy--that's why having children gives people so much joy, for a child is more a permanent gift from life; also marriage which signifies true and everlasting love will give people more joy than just being together with someone. The possession of physical objects almost always ends in losing it one way or another. It gives people false impression of owning things. The secret to happiness is to unite with things and people and Self eternally. The first step is to recognize the truth. Love, and love something that's from within. Be generous on earth...

2/16/2005

Why do I always have this desire and urge to impress interesting people!!! Today a student came with my landlords to see my apartment. He will start graduate school in the fall. He looks composed and intellitent. He showed interest in the photos on my wall. When I told them my plan to switch from science to music, his response was not of the general surprise or admiration, but of gentle interest and approval. I was immediately impressed and in turn wanted to impress him. I knew I had only a few minutes, so I basically took over the conversation. I then found out that he was going to do a Ph.D. in philosophy, and his undergraduate was interdisciplinary social science program from Harvard. I became more impressed and wanted more to impress him. Why do I do that? Last time at Susan's wedding, I was trying hard to impress Mike's distant uncle and aunt who used to be ambassadors to many countries and now are consultant for the government institutes such as the Pentagon and are said to be very worldly and difficult to impress. (Mike said they must have liked me very much since they spent half an hour talking to me alone.) I know I always feel under pressure to show these people that I am not as generic and stereotypic as I am likely to be. But why do I feel so insecure that I have to fish for the recognition of others? Am I not wise and self-composed enough to be content, and to be happy in the company of any others, not just those "impressive" ones. This is what happens when I stop being introspective. But now after I write these thoughts down, I can see myself being more at peace with people in the future, and I feel happy and at peace.

Physicist Wins Spirituality Prize
US scientists battle over anti-Darwin "Intelligent design" theory

>adagio wrote:
>So, let's say all is pre-designed and pre-determined, and all we are left to do is to find out this intelligent designer's plan for us, to find out our pre-determinded fate, boy, does that make you feel below-human? One would feel like a pre-designed robot, wouldn't he? Will he be disassembled later or will he be thrown into fire to produce a new piece of iron?
>
>Like I said before, accepting an above-all God/intelligent designer is simply a dead end to any human intellectual endeavors. How boring. How depressing.

Your mistake is to think that we are separated from this Intelligent Designer, and there is a "He" outside and beyond each of "us". Of course you would feel boring and depressing. But this is simply not true. I'd think that the path is to find the God in each of us, and to marvel how intelligent we are. And in admiring the design, we are admiring ourselves, and this leads to eternal love. Religions also teach us that we are all God.

I think, knowing that we are the designer and then set out to discover the plan, is the most exciting, inspiring and rewarding human intellectual endeavor one can possibly take.

>Why not leave science alone doing what it's been doing in discovering laws in the physical world, and leave religion to the metaphysical adventures in people's mind? Telling scientists what they ought to find is indeed an insult to their intellect.

Only when science recognizes its proper position in the universe, physical and metaphysical, can we leave it alone to do its own discovery. Otherwise science hurts, especially those weak-minded people.

不知道为什么我对今天的科学这么反感。:(

3/8/2005
我 高中的物理老师说我数理化那么差（那年我数学不及格，考了32分），干脆去学音乐好了。我不服气，就跑去学物理，一学就学了十多年。那个老师一定早就不记 得有我这个人了。他之前那个物理老师又高又帅又风趣，女朋友是个漂亮的空姐。我们都喜欢上他的物理课，跟他开玩笑。其实我的物理老师最多了。大学的几个教 授都木木呆呆的，算题还不如我算得准算得快。研究生时跟过三四个物理导师，嫌我笨嫌我懒，都把我开除了。本来我挺喜欢 物理的，后来就反感了。气人！就等着哪天我出名了，回去让这些从来不曾带给我灵感和激情的物理老师都好好自我检讨一番。哼！

3/9/2005
>little wrote:
>不是想耸人听闻，只是觉得物理和其他行业一样，受到职业化的“污染”。好多物理学家的心灵中，往日的激情不在，只在饭碗的压力下求活路，日常的产出，好的话淡而无味，不好的话面目狰狞，教学子怕怕。
>
>但有个性的物理学家，其魅力无挡！ 远的有费曼，近的有霍金。看看他们的书，便可领略到他们的激情。

物理和艺术都是一种宗教，是要有狂热的激情才能做的。现在世界上有激情的人太少了，个个都是工程师工匠 (technician)：文艺工匠，科学工匠，。。

我见过眼睛发光的科学家。我见过对知识狂热的人。见到了就爱上了。（说到这里我自己的激情都上来了。）

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>白吃 wrote:
>一直以来指向做好人，小时候要做好孩子，上学了要好学生，结婚了好做好妻子，好 母亲。。。无论周围发生什莫不快，总是检讨自己是否做错什 莫，经常处于相对不安的状态。突然有一天觉得自己活得和虚伪，想做好人的愿望并没使自己感到幸福，索性有想做坏人打算，突然间觉得自己变得踏实了，安定 了，也不在乎别人怎莫想，怎莫说。结果才发现自己本来就不是什莫好人，为什莫要伪装自己哪？如果做坏人会让我很踏实，为什莫偏要做好人。也许是好人与坏人 之间的标准改变了。随他去吧，自己踏实就好。

嘿嘿，真正心里踏实的，恐怕不会想到大声向全世界宣布：我做坏人踏实！说出来给自己壮胆呢。:) 象那个玛雅，前天想沉默一阵，还忍不住跟大家宣布一下：我要沉默了。

好坏是自己定的准则，应该是符合人性的。你所说的好坏，是社会强加于人的仁义道德观念 (morality)，与你的本质 (nature) 不合，所以会导致不安 (disharmony)。找到了自己的好坏准则，做个自然的人，所以心中就踏实了 (peace)。

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絕仁棄義，民復孝慈 --《道德经》第十九章

Goodness must be the right way, because when we do good we're happy and our conscience is clear. -- Knulp by Hermann Hesse

>benben wrote:
>是有大是大非的。但在生活中还是少一些”是非“较好，不时刻判断自己是好人还是坏人也就不会去判断别人。接受自己才会愿意接受别人。

>八十一子 wrote:
>话是阿姗这样说没错，不过人毕竟是社会的人，因此需要一些准绳，使大家的行为可以预测，这才有礼义仁智信云云。也是无奈。

说无奈也行，八十一子这样说，已经是明白人，明白了就能心里踏实。白吃MM还在启蒙阶段。笨笨MM的话说得实在而奈听。

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