Why do I always have this desire and urge to impress interesting people!!! Today a student came with my landlords to see my apartment. He will start graduate school in the fall. He looks composed and intellitent. He showed interest in the photos on my wall. When I told them my plan to switch from science to music, his response was not of the general surprise or admiration, but of gentle interest and approval. I was immediately impressed and in turn wanted to impress him. I knew I had only a few minutes, so I basically took over the conversation. I then found out that he was going to do a Ph.D. in philosophy, and his undergraduate was interdisciplinary social science program from Harvard. I became more impressed and wanted more to impress him. Why do I do that? Last time at Susan's wedding, I was trying hard to impress Mike's distant uncle and aunt who used to be ambassadors to many countries and now are consultant for the government institutes such as the Pentagon and are said to be very worldly and difficult to impress. (Mike said they must have liked me very much since they spent half an hour talking to me alone.) I know I always feel under pressure to show these people that I am not as generic and stereotypic as I am likely to be. But why do I feel so insecure that I have to fish for the recognition of others? Am I not wise and self-composed enough to be content, and to be happy in the company of any others, not just those "impressive" ones. This is what happens when I stop being introspective. But now after I write these thoughts down, I can see myself being more at peace with people in the future, and I feel happy and at peace.