More and more I realize my position in the world--a truly unique, singular, special being. And this whole universe is all mine, mine alone, and I am the owner, the creator, the observer, the interpreter, the lover, the actor, the audience, the operator, the verb executor, the presence, the essence, of the world. I am not becoming arrogant. I am so smart, so beautiful, so wonderful, and when I look at myself I can't help admiring me. But I cannot take credit for any of these--who am I to claim the prize? It's the universe, and I am merely a reflection of it, but I am a good reflection. I am good.

As for F, although I still don't believe him 100%, I have learned to look beyond facts. He is another good reflection of the universe--simple, complex, intricate, pure, dark, fascinating, complete, content, unpredictable, kind, varied, alive.... He is completely himself--no more, no less. I think, this is what we strive to become in life--to become our true self. I know I am not myself yet, but I know where I am going.

I am having wonderful effects on people around me these days. Of course I am not serious of charging money for true wisdom. I don't have any right to any wisdom. However, this incident makes me realize some of my "dark" side. I am not an angel or a saint or a perfect goddess. I am only myself.