Funny chat is usually a way to kill time, and I used to do that a lot. I like to get philosophical first and see what level the other people are at philosophically, and then I know what I can get out from chatting with them. Almost nobody can keep up with me and that is okay. I once chatted with a guy who studies Buddhism so I wanted to learn some from him, but he turned out to know only what he read from the books.

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When S is not around, I am keeping the old night schedule. I don't like it. It makes me feel that my lifestyle is still temporary and I am waiting to settle down. But I am not ready to say, "I am going to start a new life and be good". Maybe I will never be ready to say that. Maybe my life will always be in transition, in motion, in waiting.

-- email excerpts to Rong.