Having trouble with relationships or with life in general? I really hope I can be of some help. Conversation is good with the right people or with the right goal. I think the key to people including oneself is better understanding.

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Sorry that you are not at peace. You sound like you are full of turmoil. Why is everything a battle for you? Are you taking things too personally? All one can do is to start where one is, and try one's best. These days I don't have much wisdom to share, so I will stop here.

My fall involved some travels associated with work, and some mental and spiritual recalibration. I became more humble and wanted to more realistic. In Spain I met someone special and for the first time in my life I am beginning to understand the meaning of "we" and of home. Even the cold Michigan winter feels warm and charming.

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Rather than the cultures, histories, geography, my trip to Spain was all about my relationship with my sister, my reunion with an old friend, and my meeting the other half of the "we". I have come to learn that all my travels are not about the place I am visiting, but about the interaction of the traveler--me--and the people I encounter.

Thank you for acknowledging the wisdom in me. I am glad! My old friend who used to be the wise one and who had guided me when I was unwise also noticed a sense of calmness and maturity in me. It is finally the right time for me to meet the right person. All the striving previously seemed to have a purpose.

I am still learning about "we". I am a trusting person in principle but I had never trusted any we's. My world had always been about me and others. In this sense I had never tried to make a "we", unlike you. Interesting that you have discovered that many people had good advice. You do sound wise in recognizing the difference between your son's needs and yours. So, understanding is the key, no?

-- emails to JA