Been reading Taoism and learning some St Augustine. Somehow Catholicism seems so much more real and passionate to me. Or perhaps I need someone to explain these to me first? Earlier I "realized" that all religions and spiritualities are equivalent, and everyone needs to pick the one that is close to their temperament. Maybe I am wrong about this. I am a natural Taoist--it's so easy and effortless for me to feel one with the Tao teachings. Is it because I am Chinese? I am a natural Taoist and that means I am very unfocused and free. Taoism is more of an attitude toward life and nature, it is about learning the cycles of the world, accepting it as the ultimate way, and being one with the Way. It is about not acting hard, not going against what is natural, not wanting anything that is temporary in nature. I don't need Tao teachings to tell me NOT to work hard. On the contrary, I should find a way to confine myself so I can seek inwardly and reach the Ultimate and stay there.

One is to pick a set of perspectives about the world, and have faith in it, learn to live with it, until one finds it no longer works and then switches to another. I started with communism on faith, which led me to science, and then I became fascinated with the possibilities outside science and reasons, which turned me into an agnostic. Somehow everything stuck me earlier this year, and I went through all major religions and spiritual beliefs in a flash. I had great respect for Buddhism and Hinduism, but I landed on Taoism. Now I suspect that it's the Chinese upbringing that makes it easy for me use the Tao language to describe my enlightenment. Yet it is only a Way, and only describes the scene on the road. For the actual practice, to gain discipline to stay on the road, I must seek elsewhere.