I am rested. The night before I had a dream. In my dream I was back to Paradise. It was nice. I was able to enjoy whatever I was doing. So I stayed in my dream, hoping to remember how it was so I could act like that when I woke up. I slept 10 hours and then I woke up, but I was still out. But I did not feel disillusioned or bitter or defeated anymore. I felt normal. I was back to myself, completely. I decided to rest. So what did I do when I was resting? I fabricated a set of 80 something questionsn to the master. Where did all the questions come from, after I claimed to have *all* the answers? Haha! I am not only getting back to be myself, I have gone back to myself
years back when I started accumulating questions. Would be very interesting to see if the master can provide satisfying answers, the master who claims to have all the answers.

After the questions, I was exhausted again. Rested again, and today I am *really* back to be myself. Hmm, who am myself?

Actually, I did not fall this time. I was just disillusioned and woke up. I woke up twice--once I woke up and found myself God and everything else was a dream, and then I woke up again and found I just had a dream.

I have had many companions in the past (I didn't know I was traveling though, but now I remember I was, and had companions too), but sooner or later people went their own way and I'm left alone. I just took a big trip, and it is nice that when I come back, you are here to listen, and to believe me. Otherwise the journey would be so difficult! Right now I don't know where I am going, but I know I am going, my way. As my own new gained wisdom tells me, nothing is of any importance, even the search should be taken lightly. I think it's a good advice, and I will take it.

-- email excerpt to JA.