email reply from master:

> I think/feel/know that I am getting a little wiser now, after this trip to Paradise. Illusion or not, Paradise is nice, and I can add it to my list of places I've been to.

I don't think that Paradise is an illusion. It's more the Hell we inhabit that is. ;) Paradise is just Being. True Reality.

> F got really upset when I was telling him about my recent experience. His comment was, "this is all extremely boring".

> It was a blow.

As it should be. Frankly, I don't see how running away like that can be given any positive interpretation. But then, it's only me talking.

> G said to me last week that he found the New Age people seeking enlightenment "very boring" and "dead". I would not want to be boring and dead.

Well, about all this, don't quote me officially on this since any of them could take it as a personal attack, which it is not, but I have a strong feeling that anyone who tells you that the quest for enlightenment is boring, or even more so runs away if you share you own experience about it, might have a bit of a problem. To the very least, I have a feeling they might be a bit jealous, to begin with. Perhaps unable to get there themselves... :) Now, again, this is just me, talking.

This being said, G might actually be factually right in many cases. Many of these people are more playing at it or with it, rather than being thoroughly sincere in their quest. It's not that they are insincere per se; it is more that this in a way too alien for them to be totally truthful with themselves. And often, they are also camouflaged puritans. The sort that sees a beer like the bottled incarnation of sin, and sex as something akin to capital crime. (One can't help notice that it is OK for kids to watch a thousand murders a day on TV, after all, they need some training for the future; but if by chance some singer shows some tit for 2.5 seconds, then it's a national scandal, with calls for Congress! to legislate on such unacceptable attempts to pervert the youth...)

Needless to say, as I see it, and in this I am certainly replicating the views of my own Masters, such people have little chance to ever get close to an enlightened state with Life-denying attitudes. And at any rate it indeed does not make them overly exciting to be around with.

As for some men of wisdom you may know, the Younger Master once said: "Great wisdom is generous; petty wisdom, contentious. Great speech is impassioned; small speech, cantankerous". Or something to that effect. ;)

> Although I know it is all what I feel that counts, but I care deeply the opinions of the people I care about too. And I want to be interesting and lively to my friends.

It's a commendable attitude, but not the way you do it. Your way, I fear, is rather a reflection of a self-esteem that is not always the greatest.

Actually, about this, let me quote here one of my Masters, who was himself quoting his own Master, who, in turn, I am sure, was just repeating what had survived from the Ancient Ones. He was saying something like this: "The average person seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker, and calls that self-confidence. The Noble One seeks impeccability in his own eyes, and calls that humbleness. The average person is hooked to their fellow men, the Noble One is hooked only to Infinity."

You are in the process of shifting. Don't be surprised if you found out that the further you shift, the less you are going to be sensitive to what other people think of you.

Actually, let me put that quote in its own context. My Master was in essence saying this:

When confronted with issues such as the ones we are talking about, the True One or Noble One (der Edle Mensch, i.e., "The Noble Human" -- let's say "the True Human", a Human worth that name, a "True One") acknowledges his or her pain, but doesn't indulge in it.

The mood of the True One entering into the unknown is not one of sadness or fear; to the contrary, it is one of joyfulness and awe, as you are feeling humbled by your great fortune: Confident that their spirit is impeccable, and above all, fully aware of its efficiency, a True One's joyfulness comes from having accepted his or her own fate, and from having truthfully assessed what lies ahead.

The basic difference between an ordinary human and the True One is that the Noble One takes everything as a challenge offered by Life itself, as it is at play with us, while the ordinary one takes everything as a blessing, or as a curse.

The self-confidence of the Noble One is not the self-confidence of the average person: The average person seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker, and calls that self-confidence. The Noble One seeks impeccability in his own eyes, and calls that humbleness. The average person is hooked to their fellow men, while the True One is hooked only to Infinity.

He also said that the only freedom the Noble One has is to behave impeccably. Not only is impeccability freedom; it is the only way for us to straighten out and harness our human form. He added that when one has nothing more to lose, that is when one can finally become courageous: We can only remain pusillanimous as long as there is something we can still attach ourselves to. But once we shed the human form, there is nothing left to cling to. Then the only thing left is Freedom, and Infinity.

Now, if you felt that contemplating such words is like contemplating the shining facets of a gem glistening in the sun of a glorious dawn, a fascinating gem that could very possibly act as a doorway to Infinity, feel free to feel that way: I sure do as well.

Hmm... "The Doorway to Infinity". Now, wouldn't that be a great title for a book? I hope no one has already thought of it, although it seems too good to have escaped the collective mind of the many who preceded us. ;)

Anyway, about books, let's make a deal: You provide the questions. I provide the answers. And we equally share the royalties. ;)

Now, don't be surprised if, in the end, you saw the confines of questions and answers blurring and fade, as well as the difference between the one who provides the questions, and the one who provides the answers...

> So, I will put a stop for this enlightenment subject, at least for now.

Just remember that there are lots of people out there for whom this is *not* a boring subject. People who struggle with their own identity, and with their understanding of the nature of consensual reality and of what's beyond. And that contemplating other people's pathways, and experiences, is perhaps the only input that might help them go forward...

> It seems like there are only two sides, or two actions -- either you on this side or do this, or you are on that side and do that. When you are God, you know man is an illusion. When you are a man, you think God is an illusion. Enlightenment is also a personal choice, an experience one choose to go through. Right now I am on the side of man, and I am lucid with all human confusions. When I was God I was lucid with all God's wisdom.

I think "lucid with" is too Chinese. "Aware of" or "conscious of" is what you'd want to say in a book. :) But besides that, you say it as it is.

This reminds me of that classic story reported by the Younger Master, of a man who fell asleep under a tree, dreaming he was a butterfly. And who, as he was waking up, was wondering if he was a man who had just dreamt he was a butterfly, or if he was a butterfly, just dreaming he was a man.

> I'm back to where I started, with new insights to spiritual things.

The Ancients saw History as circular. Maybe this is why. ;)

> I can probably use the enlightened state as a tool when I want to feel exalted in order to create.

Isn't that an excellent use for IT?

> Strangely enough, all your advices are still good for all practical purposes.

Well, we I explored these things, I noticed that the more genuine a Master or possible Master was, the more both detached *and* down to earth he also seemed to be. If he wasn't that practical, he usually wasn't that spiritually valid either -- if we call any of this "spirituality", an ambiguous word I am not totally sure I can fully subscribe to.

This is what I came to verbalize as the "chop wood, carry water" attitude. It impressed me as one of the element allowing us as Seekers to exercise some discernment when evaluating what a Master can bring us, or where he can lead us. That is all I saw in it at first. It wasn't something of great importance, even if I tended to emulate this attitude to some extent, out of the natural human tendency to emulate the actions or habits of people we perceive as being of exemplary value.

However, now it's becoming something more important in its own right: With the turn of the century, it seems that the last of all the people I perceived as *my* own Masters are slowly fading into memory... I remember talking with Madhu last year, who was kind of unsure he was really qualified to be a Teacher or a Master, as I was telling him something like: Look, if *you* don't Teach, then who can, and who will? All your Masters are dead now, and the few who aren't yet are now so old that it's just a matter of months or very short years. If *you* don't help the people out there, where else can they turn to? Televangelists?

He thought about it and agreed that, indeed, there is little choice for those like us. If not by inclination, then we ought to do it out of a sense of duty, and perhaps of gratitude for those who, in their time, trail blazed the Way for us. He added something like "but that's as valid for you than for me, no?" I said yes, I guess it is. But I just dislike being in the public eye, while you don's care. So at any rate, it's easier for you to do it.

As I see it, I don't want to be an acknowledged guru. In a way, on this issue, I am the very contrary of you: I don't care much about people's opinions about me, or perceptions of me. In fact, I don't even care much about my own opinions about myself. And if people don't even know I exist, as far as I am concerned, all the best, and all the Praise and Glory to Allah! :)

However, if asked, it is clear it is indeed my duty to at least point in the direction of the Way. And if I transmit any knowledge to anyone, it has to be *practical*, and usable. Pure theories are great as amusement for the mind, but they won't put any bread on one's table, or lead anyone any closer to Awakening or Enlightenment.

> I have downloaded the eBook software. It is still good to write a book, because the journey is not over, no matter where I want to go. I thought the title "the difficulties of being ah-san wong" was pretty good--it is full of struggles and human follies, and since I am not even me, not asw, so it adds additional difficulty to be me, or to be anyone, or simply to be. So asw or mu-lan or anything else, it is no importance. But this we can talk about later.

Well, the thing is *I* would not put my real name on anything even remotely autobiographical, as a matter of principle. (And what is that's not, in a way, autobiographical? :)

But, again, that's just me. And then, "erasing one's personal history" was one of the practices I learned from one of the lineage of Teachers that was the closest to my heart, so even if I think this is valid, and useful to abide by, I must admit that I could be a bit prejudiced here?;)

> p.s. this seems to remain true: mind is man's greatest pride, and also man's most deadly enemy

Mind is a trickster. Enjoy the show, but never take it too seriously.

Peace and Blessings,

F.