conversation with master:

> What does it really mean, that there are many ways? Do we choose our own way, or does the way chooses us and we have to enjoy as much as we can on the way because we can never reach other ways?

We choose our own ways, but this at more than one level...
About that, you should find at the library the book of Thea Alexander called "2150 AD" and read it. That would give you ideas. So ways choose us too, even if at some time we might have chosen these ways, which in turn choose us.

> And how is it possible that I have only met two souls "walking upon my path"? And both of you are so "different" from the mass, and when I look down the paths you take (too unconventional), I don't know if I have the courage or the strength to go down the way.

There is no particular merit or obligation to do things my way or his way, or any particular way, for that matter. In essence, none of them has any particular value or importance. You can perfectly play being "normal", and still do what you want, when you want. As long as you understand that it is just a game. That the whole thing is like a long movie in which we all merely play a short part.

> How come only you and me can recognize each other as being smart, but many people (including my best friend) don't have this high regard of me?

When you, or any of us, get to the summits of the human experience of the world, we reach a zone which in essence is invisible to the common man. For him, we just appear a bit weird, interested in weird things, and talking about stuff that makes little sense. They would almost need an interpreter. If you happen to get a Nobel, write a bestseller, or make lots of money, *that*, they do understand and can somehow relate to. But if you use your brain too much, you are just a geek, who probably doesn't even watch football on television...

Don't assume anything. Remember: The map is not the territory.

> For the questions, I will ask you, since you are also full of answers.

Be my guest! ;)

> The more answers I find, the more questions I get.

Welcome to the human race. ;)

> Here's one more: How do I know if there are many people who are like me but they have chosen a normal life? And how come I cannot achieve that?

Your life looks pretty normal to me, as far as I know of it. So in what way do you perceive it to be different, and what exactly would you want to achieve?

> Also, I don't think I can ever be happy.

Now, that is the easiest thing to fix. :) You should read Madhu's book. :)
Anyway, the general rule is simple: Whether you think you are happy, or not; or can or cannot, in each case, you are right.

> It seems more and more clear to me that I love suffering--when happiness presents itself to me (in the form of an opportunity for normal life), I doubt and refuse it.

More practically, how did it present itself in the past, and how did you doubt and refuse it?