I went out for a hike later this afternoon with some unrelated friend. The beauty of the lake and the shallowness of the conversation (about insurance policies) was so comforting. A great escape from my struggle. So why struggle? I resolved to do something different, preferable outdoors, every time I get too crowded and serious into my thoughts. I will not become normal, but I will learn to be balanced, no matter what I choose to do. But what is a balanced life? Is it boring because it might lack the uphill struggle I am constantly facing. If it is comfortable then it is not balanced, because it will need struggle for the balance. Ha, now we are back to that infinite negation and inclusion thing. OK, so now everything seems to be in place again.

-- from email to J.