emails to friends:

Charles asked me the nature of the enlightenment I encountered on Wednesday. At that time it was like struck by lightening or shown a new vision, and it was impossible to describe. I have been thinking about since and trying to comprehend. It turned to spiritual, and then to philosophical (after much thinking and discussion), and finally the two unite and I feel and I understand and I am "with IT".

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This experience has turned out to be the most significant event in my life. I feel I have finally reached the true contentment that I have always been searching for. Imagine a life with no doubt, no fear, only the freedom to be myself, to be active, to be creative, to be the best I can be. I feel lucky and blessed to have this happen to me so early in life. In 2000 I first found the existence of myself, now I have found who I am, and all I have to do next is simply to be.

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Now it is so much easier to concentrate on anything and feel fulfilled (although I still need to learn to concentrate better). And suddenly there are so many things I want to do in life. One lifetime is not enough. So I want to live well, live long, learn well, perform well, and always love.

It's so strange to find freedom when I finally surrender to the concept of the existence of God/Being/Universe which is also just myself. How hard I had fought against myself! And what folly!