Yesterday I got two emails from old friends from my LA era. JF who does not believe in the marraige institution decides to get married. MJ informs his friends and family of the tragedy--he met Susan two years ago; their baby was born last Saturday morning; by the evening Susan had lost all consciousness and passed away within two days. (She suffered HELLP.) I was so struck by the news all day that I felt physically sick. All I could tell MJ was, to focus on the positive sides of Life--life that brings birth and grows and continues on.

JJ once comments that I often complain about relationship troubles, something very minor when comparing to another friend's loss of a mother. Is it true that in the face of life and death, all other troubles become insignificant? W thinks it unfair when someone worries about family inheritance or enjoys two lovers, while someone else has to worry about tomorrow's bread or to wait for a date.

I think my friend K is the most misfortunate man I know. He lost a eye as an infant; his soulmate wife died of cancer; a few of his brothers and uncle died; a vicious wife who sent him to despair; lost job, house, car, children, wife (bad) and more within a few weeks; being cheated by employers; getting deported by foreign government; poverty.... In the few years I know him, I see him in misfortunes of all scopes--relationship troubles, money problems, legal battles, and life and death.

How do we compare the extent of misfortune? Are my worries truly insignificant? I do not know. I do feel strongly and my emotions do get affected powerfully when I hear about other's misfortune. Recently I have been feeling very down about the death penalty case in Singapore--this fascist country is going to hang an Australian young man (of Vietnamese origin) for drug trafficking, ignoring all pleas for clemency from around the world--prime minister, UN officials, present Pope and past Pope included--to spare his life. Nguyen Tuong Van, 25, was caught three years ago while carrying heroin in an effort to raise money to save his twin brother in debt. He broke the law and should be executed according to law, but what about according to Man? Where is Man in respect to law? Singapore government says that the law cannot be changed for one man. Any government and law that is so inflexible is inhuman. When I first read this news two weeks ago, I was watching the movies Capote (2005) and In Cold Blood (1967), and there were scenes of hanging. I had nightmares of it. (I tend to become very personal when I read news stories like this. A few days ago I thought a great deal about the Jordan woman who planned to set up suicide bombs with her husband but in the end she fled after her husband set up his bomb. What horror she must face, thinking about her act of terror while her forever condemned husband is no more? Why are there so many unhappy people in the world???)

Back to what I was saying about the various extents of misfortune and unhapppiness. Someone once told me that life gives everyone different challenges. Yes, what would life be without challenge? We all have to overcome the obstacles in front of us, to see life as a personal journey. We do need to count our blessings even in the times of adversity, but to compare misfortunes with others in order to feel lucky would not bring us the joy and peace we need.

Know that everyday I have done my best to live, to learn, to love, and I shall find peace, and perhaps, happiness.