5.15.2000 （一）8:55 pm

Growing up is so painful. Sometimes I just want to give up. To learn about myself is a lonely process. I cannot depend on anyone else. There's no short cut. I have to find myself all by myself. Any involvement with anyone else will only hinder my progress. Such a long process. Such a painful process. Nobody can really replace/help me. George went through his period of painful growth. Killian did it too. It's my turn.